Wednesday, May 27, 2015

A Fall Into The Pit, A Gain In Your Wit

Hello friends,

Over the last few weeks, I have worked relentlessly to meet the deadlines for the book. Not only I was able to complete the new chapters ahead of time, I was also able to maintain a sustainable and balanced lifestyle. I had to make a few tough calls and draw a line in the sand in order to protect my own sanity. Other than the usual work and dating, I also enrolled in a mentorship program for career advancement. After the recent sex workshop that I co-lead, I realized that my life is evolving so fast that I didn't really have time to process everything alone or with a trusted friends. It made me realize that I need to make some adjustments in life that will revitalize my program of recovery and to bring new ideas into my life. It was not an easy choice but I had to switch sponsors.

While all of those things were happening in my personal life, I needed to stay focused on completing the last two chapters of the book. It was not an easy task whatsoever. These last two chapters set the foundation for the rest of the book. I had to keep the stories as detailed as possible in order to bridge the gap for the second half of the book. As I was writing it, I was also getting caught up with the emotion of the stories as it developed. I found myself getting angry and upset with my younger self. Back then, I didn't have a role model to look up to. I was trying really hard to fit in and was desperate for human contact. My desperation and the urge of wanting to fit in combined with curiosity, lead me down a path or self-destruction and despair. All of these happened within a year and a half after I moved to New York City.

There was a sense of serenity and peace after the writing was completed. I could finally put the past behind, let go of all the tough moments and things that once made me the person I am today. Instead of living in the past, I can now focus on living for the present moment and embrace it.

After I submitted the entire stories to my publisher, Afdhere wanted me to meditate on the following three questions:

1. If this book could help someone specific, who would this person be?

2. If your life in general could help someone specific, who would this person be?

3. What do you want from this book specifically, and what do you want from your life in general?

These were some pretty big questions I needed answers to. Luckily for me, when I created my five year plan a year and a half ago, I already had documented some of these. The blog from last year also helped me identified my readers and supporters like you. I will be creating a new basic personas that I share with my publisher.

I will keep you posted on the next phase of the development. Please stay tuned.

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